Freedom is a big word. Everyone seems to want it. And when we use the word freedom, we often assume we are all talking about the same thing. But are we?
In reality, there are many different kinds of freedom.
One of the most important distinctions when we are talking about psychology and human development is between Freedom From and Freedom To.
Freedom From refers to liberation from something that constrains or harms us—political oppression, abusive relationships, addictions, trauma, or illness.
Freedom To, on the other hand, is a movement toward new ways of thinking, acting, and living. It is about becoming free to express who we truly are.
Both are essential, and both are deeply intertwined.
And even though these types of freedom are focused on our individual realities, our personal levels of Freedom From our conditioning, and Freedom To express the urgings of our True Selves, affect our collective realities: how we interact with our loved ones, our neighbors and colleagues, what and who we choose to believe in and to govern us, and how, ultimately, we live together in our societies and nations across the globe.
Freedom From and Freedom To are processes that underlie just about every aspect of our lives, and thus taking a moment to reflect on them is fundamental for our own wellbeing and for helping us see how we can move along in new and better directions, for ourselves and for others.
Freedom From Conditioning and Trauma
Freedom From is a process we all face when we begin to recognize that the behavioral patterns and beliefs we were taught as children—or developed in response to trauma—have become detrimental to our wellbeing, authentic expression, and psychological or spiritual growth.
Every society, family system, and parent conditions children with values about what is acceptable, what is right or wrong, and what matters. This conditioning is often well-intentioned, but it is not always right in a deeper, ethical, or existential sense.
History offers stark examples. Nazi Germany is often cited to illustrate the difference between a group’s conditioned “conscience” and a deeper moral awareness. During the period of years that the Nazis were in power, led by Adolf Hitler, citizens were told that horrific acts of violence against their fellow humans were right and necessary, and many complied or turned a blind eye to what was happening, later claiming they were “just following orders.”
This extreme example reveals how profoundly conditioning can shape perception—and how difficult it can be to free ourselves from it.
The Human Need to Belong
One of our most fundamental human needs is to belong—to feel safe, loved, and protected within our families and societies. Research in attachment theory, as first proposed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth and since their initial work amply corroborated by many other researchers and practitioners, shows that this need can be stronger even than the instinct for survival.
As a result, we may sacrifice our physical, emotional, and psychological wellbeing in order to preserve connection, even in deeply dysfunctional situations.
On a more subtle level, this need to belong can lead us to suppress our deepest desires and longings. We may shape our lives around gaining approval, choosing paths that seem acceptable rather than authentic. For a time, this may work—but eventually, our True Self begins to make itself known.
The Cost of Living an “Existential Lie”
A classic (and simplified) example is choosing a profession to please our parents or bring prestige to the family, despite feeling unconvinced deep inside. Sometimes we can ignore our doubts and function well enough. Other times, this “existential lie” creates profound distress—emotional, psychological, or physical—without our understanding why.
What we experience as symptoms are often signals that something essential within us has been neglected.
Trauma, Inheritance, and the Body
Another layer of conditioning arises from explicit trauma. Growing up in families unable to nurture our authentic talents and desires is itself a form of trauma, but many people also endure more overt forms of harm.
When parents are burdened by unresolved conditioning—often rooted in transgenerational trauma—children may experience physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual abuse that leaves deep and lasting imprints.
Today, there is growing awareness of early childhood trauma and its long-term effects. Many practitioners, myself included, observe that addictions, emotional suffering, and even physical illnesses often trace back to early wounds. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) may manifest in many ways, but recognizing its roots opens the door to real healing.
Pioneers of Healing and Awareness
Beginning with Sigmund Freud’s exploration of the human psyche and his theory about the existence of the unconscious, many thinkers and practitioners have expanded our understanding of trauma and healing as expressions of humanity’s deep longing for Freedom From suffering. Some of them also offered new ways of seeing what the deeper purpose behind human life could actually be, inspired by their studies in theology, philosophy, medicine and physics, and, in some cases, illuminated by the emerging awareness of how human consciousness may be directly connected to the quantum field and the underlying order of the universe.
Some of the figures whose work I find especially meaningful include and has profoundly influenced my personal journey as well as my professional trajectory:
Carl Jung: The Collective Unconscious and Archetypes
Jung expanded psychology beyond the personal unconscious to include the collective unconscious, recognizing a shared field of meaning that connects us all. By integrating spiritual and psychological dimensions, he opened pathways that continue to enrich healing work today. He also recognized that there are certain patterns of thinking and behavior that are common across all human cultures and that are innate to us all and that underpin our psychological, social and spiritual development. Jung’s ideas about archetypes, in fact, offered a new direction to psychology and psychotherapy, that can be of immense help in understanding what is actually driving our individual evolution and how that fits in with the whole.
Alice Miller: The Reality of Childhood Trauma
Alice Miller courageously exposed the damage caused by emotional neglect, manipulation, and corporal punishment. The Drama of the Gifted Child remains essential reading for understanding family trauma and its embodied consequences. She boldly challenged the cultural taboo, embodied in many religions, that makes it so difficult to openly challenge and criticize parental behavior, and opened the door to new levels of sensitivity and respect towards children. Her concept of the Enlightened Witness has also brought a depth to understanding how and why empathy and positive mirroring between people is fundamental not only for individual health and wellbeing, but to the general healthy functioning of human society.
John Bradshaw: Healing the Inner Child
John Bradshaw introduced the concept of the Inner Child (the link takes you to a video course he did on the wounded inner child) and offered practical tools for understanding developmental wounds, addictions, and family dynamics. He was one of the first to identify the various roles set down for children raised in dysfunctional families (Hero, Lost Child, Scapegoat, etc.) and he also helped understand the debilitating effects of toxic shame that can reverberate through our lives even well after the experiences that first triggered it.
Antonio Mercurio: Prenatal and Existential Trauma and Life as a Work of Art
Mercurio explored trauma originating as early as the womb, revealing how unconscious, cellular conditioning can shape an entire life—and how it can become a catalyst for transformation. His ideas on how we can look at our inner processes in new ways, and introduction of the idea of the Inner Artist (the I Person, the part of us that is free to choose to move towards love and life or hatred and violence) offer a completely new framework for how we can both understand the importance of becoming Free From the effects of our trauma and conditioning and of getting clear on what we are going to utilize our newfound freedom for.
This new way of understanding our inner healing processes and of their evolutionary purpose brings into consciousness our inherent creativity, that, when harmonized with the will of the Personal and Cosmic Self, allows us to transform our wounds and create new beauty, to better our own lives and to energize and inspire others to do the same.
Bert Hellinger: Family Constellations
Through Family Constellations, Hellinger illuminated how intergenerational trauma lives on in family systems, and how bringing the invisible into awareness can free us from inherited patterns.
Peter Levine and Bessel Van der Kolk: Trauma and the Body-Mind
In the 1990s, two researchers and practitioners in the fields of medical psychology and neuroscience began publishing their findings regarding how trauma can have lingering, measurable effects on both the body and the mind. Their work has brought forth increasing awareness around how the effects of both physical and psychological/emotional trauma can be profound even well after the traumatic events have occurred, and has greatly benefited the growing field of trauma-informed care, both within mainstream and alternative branches of healthcare.
Pete Walker: CPTSD and the Inner Critical Parent
Pete Walker’s work on CPTSD highlights how the internalized “inner critical parent” disrupts adult life, and offers compassionate strategies for emotional flashbacks and self-repair.
Listening for the Voice of the True Self
What unites all these approaches is the recognition that beneath conditioning and trauma lies the True Self—the part of us that knows our life’s purpose is deeper than roles, expectations, or wounds that have been foisted upon us by others and by society.
The True Self continually invites us to look beyond suffering toward our inherent wholeness. It understands that trauma is not only something that harms us, but also an invitation to develop new strengths, freedoms, and ways of relating—to ourselves, others, and Life itself.
From Survival to Authentic Adulthood
When families cannot nurture us, we develop defensive mechanisms such as denial, projection, dissociation, etc., and survival strategies – fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. These mostly unconscious and automatic psychological mechanisms protect us as children but later constrain us as adults. These responses are not wrong; they were once necessary, and helped us handle experiences that were overwhelming for our child selves. The challenge is that they often continue long after they are useful.
Many of us become, in effect, children in adult bodies. Healing requires learning where we are still reacting from the past rather than responding to the present.
True adulthood is not selfish autonomy or rigid independence. It is the capacity to care for ourselves while recognizing our interdependence with others and with Life itself.
If we are having trouble with our relationships and/or do not feel free to make decisions that truly respond to our deeper needs and desires, we are not condemned to a life of painful loneliness: we may need to dive deeper to see if unprocessed trauma is blocking us from experiencing life with greater confidence and developing connections that fulfill and nurture us. Life wants us to thrive, but only we can decide to do the inner work necessary to find our own unique path to love of ourselves and others and our unique contribution to the whole.
Responsibility vs. Conformity
One of the aims of the True Self is mature responsibility—not blind conformity. Sometimes responsibility aligns with social expectations; sometimes it calls us to differentiate ourselves. It always calls us to become profoundly aligned with our own purpose, which is a process that begins in adulthood but is not necessarily automatic. Jung called this process individuation and indicated that while this often puts us at odds with those around us, this is not due to any kind of pathology. It is, rather, an impulse rising from Life itself, which is constantly evolving, and which expresses in humans not only through technological developments, but through an increasing ability to be self-aware and to interact with others with greater understanding, compassion and mutual well being.
Following inner guidance when it conflicts with family or societal norms requires courage. Yet when we understand that this differentiation is in service of deeper integrity and aliveness, we can begin to form new, healthier bonds, and contribute to an increasingly positive collective experience.
Freedom To Be You
As adults, we gain the ability to make new choices that reflect who we truly are.
This existential freedom is not about becoming famous or extraordinary. For many, it is about healing intergenerational wounds and living with greater joy and presence than previous generations could access. This, too, is a profound contribution to the collective human story.
Freedom To: Imagining What Comes Next
If you are in the process of healing, Freedom From pain must come first. Attending to wounds is an act of deep self-respect.
Still, it can be helpful to gently ask:
What might I want to be free to experience, create, or express?
If depression lifted, what would you do with your energy?
If addiction loosened its grip, how would you live differently?
Sometimes fear of change itself keeps us stuck. Recognizing that fear is an important step toward freedom.
Relationships as a Path of Awakening
Consider a relationship that feels suffocating or unfulfilling. We may believe we need to be Free From the relationship to be Free To find love. Yet often, the deeper task is learning honesty—first with ourselves, then with others.
When we come from families where needs were not openly expressed, learning to speak our truth without blame is a profound and ongoing practice. It is also one of the gateways to genuine intimacy.
The Ongoing Dance of Freedom From and Freedom To
Freedom From and Freedom To form a living dialectic, like a pendulum swinging back and forth, or a double spiral (like my logo), with one arm that penetrates our depths and the other that reaches up to the sky. As we heal old wounds, we become freer to engage with life fully, and as we live more authentically, in tune with who we truly are and want to be, deeper layers of healing emerge.
And as we embody this process, we show others what is possible.
Our fear and isolation diminish. Our capacity for connection, discernment, and mutual respect grows. In living our truth, we quietly invite others to do the same.
Can you imagine a world where people have addressed their needs for healing and have become true adults, capable of responsibly caring for themselves and their children and of having empathy for others?
I know it sounds like an impossible dream, but for anyone who has embraced a process of healing and personal evolution and has seen the miracles it can produce within one’s own life and family, we know it’s possible. As Antonio Mercurio used to say – the Impossible can truly become Possible, both for each of as individuals, and for all of us on the planet.
It is going to yes take a lot of work, and we can only each start where we are at today, and begin taking baby steps towards this dream of a new life, first of all for ourselves and our immediate sphere. As we gain strength and confidence walking along this new and, especially in the beginning, often solitary road, we will soon begin to see the immense benefits.
Yes, in the beginning it can be lonely, and even scary, because we need to step away from what we have known until now into unknown territory, and sometimes challenge beliefs and attitudes and ways of living that we have been told were the only right ones for us. We often have to face many inner demons, misplaced guilt and shame and sometimes even outer opposition from those we love and admire.
And that is why we often need to find helpers and guides to learn how to tune into the inner strength that is there for us, always, that fuels the very basis of our lives, and can give us the strength and energy to do what we must to build the inner freedom our soul is longing for.
If you have found this page, you are likely searching for new approaches to old problems, or new answers to questions that you can’t seem to find answers to.
Welcome to my website, and if you would like to schedule a brief introductory chat to talk with me and get an even better feel for who I am and how I work, get in touch today.
In any case, I wish you the best in your search for new ways of living and for greater freedom from pain so you, too, can experience ever greater freedom to live your joy, creativity, and love of your own life and of others.